Saturday, 18 December 2010

Dear Santa - I want a brewery like Steve Wellington

Dear Santa,

I have been a really good boy this year, honest. I only got very drunk once, and I blame the Ola Dubh, surely you can forgive me that? I've worked really very hard indeed to build my brewery up and get good beer out to more people. My pressie list isn't really that long at all.

My friend Steve Wellington has been given a really nice shiny new £1 million brewery to take over from his splendidly and romantically old fashioned but ageing White Shield brewery. He's really very excited about it and I'm happy for him, after all he is a shining example of how major brewing corporations can be persuaded to invest in tasty and interesting beer.

I'd like to pretend not to be jealous of Steve, but I can't. Actually, I'm completely green. Is that wrong? Probably, but I still want one too.

I haven't got a big multinational brewery to fund my little project. I'd love to have a 22.5 barrel brew length, but I can't afford it yet. I'd like to have an external calandria a on my copper, a separate hop-back and a mash tun that digs itself.

It is also very pretty. I'll admit that all that gleaming stainless stirs physical reactions that should be reserved for the sight of bare flesh, but I'm a brewer and every brewer understands that reaction.

Please can I have a shiny new brewery too? I promise not to get drunk again next year, well, not too often, really, honest, and if I do, it's the beers fault.


If I can't have one then I suppose I'll just have to go and brew with Steve again in the New Year, he said he'd let me play with his new toy. See, that's what mates are for.

Lots of Christmas Love
HardKnott Dave


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I nearly forgot, thanks to Reluctant Scooper for the idea for this post. He talks about the opening do for the brewery here.

12 comments:

StringersBeer said...

White Shield is made by Molson Coors.
White Shield is good beer.
Therefore, Molson Coors makes good beer.

See how that works? Million quid well spent.

Tim said...

I want one too. I mash and boil in plastic buckets. I make good beer still. I can think of better ways to spend 1 million pounds.

HardKnott Dave said...

Molson Coors DO make good beer. A million quid is a lot for a 22.5 barrel brewery, remember this is only the brew house. They are currently using the original fermentation tank farm and will need to spend even more money on tanks to maximise throughput.

As far as I'm concerned this is a Molson Coors publicity stunt. It probably isn't going to make them any money, in fact I suspect it will loose them money if viewed as a stand alone project. But it's not stand alone, it is their way of saying to us fickle beer geeks "Look, we know we make Carling, that's where we make our money and you beer geeks and cask enthusiasts might not like that, but we are still serious about beer"

I'm very, very happy about that.

StringersBeer said...

No Dave, unqualified it's an association fallacy. Halo effect, whatever.

Wasn't it M-C complaining about making no more than a penny a pint on Carling. i.e. it's only a penny away from dumping beer onto the market. Do you think that we're going to see M-C giving up on that kind of predatory pricing (or price war nonsense) and concentrate on developing the premium sector?

Otherwise, I can't quite figure out what you're so happy about. The "publicity stunt"? Being one of the "fickle beer geeks"? What?

HardKnott Dave said...

1p a pint for Carling is £11.5 million for Molson Coors.

StringersBeer said...

11.5 million? If the UK operation made that much profit over all I'd imagine their tax chaps would be looking for new work.

Barm said...

StringersBeer, as I understand it, MolsonCoors are desperate to stop price dumping, but every time they try to raise their prices, Tesco and Asda tell them where to shove it.

StringersBeer said...

Barm - Fair dos, they were de-listed for a bit by Tesco for refusing to discount as hard as everyone else.

StringersBeer said...

Oooh look, M-C is one of the sponsors of the 2011 European Beer Bloggers Conference in that London. Along with Wells/Youngs and Fullers. See how that works? You going, Dave? To you (industry beer blogger): £165

RedNev said...

Judging by the beer of yours that I've tried, there's nothing wrong with the brewery you've got now.

GRANDE CERVEJEIRO said...

Hello brewers, that this Christmas will bring much happiness to all and many beers ...
Happy Christmas ...........
http://grandecervejeiro.blogspot.com/

HardKnott Dave said...

Stringers,

I haven't made my mind up about the Bloggers Conference. However, blogging is one of the things I do. It would be nice to get the trip paid for by some brewery or other. But then, perhaps it might be beneficial to me to attend anyway.....

Nev,

Having a better brewery would make me more efficient at brewing beer. Brewing good beer doesn't by itself make a viable business.